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February 1, 2005
To the Trinh Family:
I am Chrissy Allen, a senior at Johns Hopkins, a sister of Alpha Phi, and
a friend of Linda’s. There are no words to describe this incredible loss.
This past week and a half have been the most sorrowful and painful days of
my life, and I cannot imagine what you must be going through. Linda was
perfect in every way— loving, gentle, beautiful, funny, intelligent, sincere,
sweet, optimistic, successful, happy, caring— I cannot believe that God took
her from us so soon. Although I believe that everything happens for a reason,
I sit here and cannot understand. It is not fair. How could this happen?
And to know that the person who did this is still alive, still here, walking
on this earth as a free human being…how is this truly possible?
There are very few people on this earth who are as special as Linda. I know
many people at Hopkins who are hard-working and intelligent. I know many students
who have a desire to help Third World countries. I know some who will put their
family and friends before anything else. But there are very few who obtain all
of those traits and can perfectly and successfully balance academics and social
life. If she had to stay in on a Friday night to study for an exam, she still
remembered to call us that night to make sure we were having a blast. When she
had to work, she worked hard. And when it was time to party, she partied hard.
As the president of Alpha Phi, she kept us whole, together, sane. When I saw her
on campus, I was proud to say that she was the president of my sorority and yes—
a BME major and an athlete too.
I could not believe my eyes when I saw Linda lying in front of me Friday evening.
How could God take such a young angel away from us? A girl who just celebrated
her long awaited 21st birthday only several months ago? A girl who had her dreams
and goals outlined her colorful Goal Maps?
As I looked at her Goal Map for 2003, I felt proud. I knew she had reached each
one of those goals and worked hard to reach them. But as I moved over to her Goal
Map for the year 2009, all I could feel was anger. She was supposed to reach
those goals. She was supposed to be here. She was supposed to visit the Vatican
with her parents. She was supposed to call her friends at least once a month to
keep in touch once she graduated.
What struck me most was the immense depth and genuineness of her goals. As my
goals simply are to get good grades and try to get into a decent grad school,
hers were focused on family and friends and how she could spend more time and do
more things with them. She truly truly cared for the people in her life. I had
always liked hanging out with Linda, but it was when she drove all the way to
my home in Towson from Silver Spring for my 19th birthday party during winter
break, that I realized what an extraordinary friend I had. Although many of my
friends had promised they would come but did not show up, Linda was one of the
few Hopkins friends who came. She kept her promise and from then on, I knew I
had a beautiful friendship that I would cherish forever and ever. It’s the
little things that count the most, and Linda was always there. Just like an
angel, she somehow always made it to my side during not only the sad and hurtful
times, but the happy and crazy times.
When my younger sister, a sophomore at University of Maryland, College Park,
arrived at the viewing Friday, I could not help but break down in tears.
The many times Lisa, my sister, came to visit me at Hopkins, Linda treated
her like her own little sister and introduced her to so many people and always
made sure Lisa was having fun. Even when I was not there and Lisa and Linda
bumped into each other at the mall, Linda would give Lisa that same loving hug
and at least a 5 minute conversation. Whenever Lisa made plans to visit me at
Hopkins, she would always ask, “Are we going to party with Linda?” And my
answer was always the same: “Duh.” I knew that if anything happened to me,
Linda would be there to take over as Lisa’s big sister. And although sisters
fight all the time, the next time I am about to fight with Lisa, I will think
of Linda’s genuine love and treat my sister the same way Linda would have
treated her.
When friends of mine who did not know Linda give me sympathy and comfort, it
is I who feels sad for them. Because anyone who did not know Linda did not
get to see what kind of a friend she was. She was the person you called when
you had a bad day. And the person you thought of when you had a good day.
When I became cynical, she brought out only the positives. And when I became
angry at someone, she would put me in their footsteps and make me understand.
When I did something stupid, she would laugh with me and tell me I was special.
And when I did something good, she would give that smile of hers and I knew
she was proud.
As one said at the Candlelight Vigil: “She is not dead, because love never dies.
If you love Linda, she is here with you.” Even on this cold winter day that I
sit here and write this, I can feel the warmth and love of Linda surrounding me.
I will take her with me wherever I go. When I am stressed out at school, I will
think of how hard Linda worked; she will be my motivation. When I feel weak, I
will think of Linda’s immense power that poured out of her small body during her
volleyball games. When I am sad, I will think of her unique laugh and firm hug.
And when I am happy, I will look up at Heaven and know that Linda is there
smiling down at me, wearing the flower behind her ear.
As I think back at all the wonderful things Linda did for me, it only hurts me
more because I know that I wasn’t as good of a friend to her as she was to me.
There are so many things I wish I could have done, so many things I wish I could
have said, so many more days and nights I want to sit down and laugh with her.
Linda has taught me the true meaning of friendship and from now on, when I see a
friend, I will no longer just give them a smile. I will say hi, give them a hug,
and make sure they are okay. Because that is how Linda treated me, and I want to
continue to spread her love.
I have seen the website for Linda and it is absolutely beautiful. The numerous
pictures I have of Linda are part of the Alpha Phi Disk of Pictures. I will treasure
those pictures forever. I am deeply, deeply sorry for your loss. I would do
anything to bring Linda back. I cannot wait until I get to be with her again in
Heaven. I will never forget her love, her spark, her voice. I love her and miss
her so much.
My Deepest Sympathy,
Chrissy Allen
Senior, Applied Mathematics Major
Alpha Phi
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