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Dear Quang,
Hi, my name is Ning Chan and I was a close friend of Linda's. I cannot
begin to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Please also tell your
parents how extremely sorry I am. I must also apologize for not having
contacted you sooner, as I was unsure of what to say or how to react to
it all. I was there at the viewing on Friday and at the funeral on
Saturday, as well as the memorial service the following Wednesday.
I wrote Linda a letter a few days after she left us. I wanted to give it
to her that weekend but wasn't sure how. As I'm sure you are feeling,
there are so many questions left unanswered and things left unsaid that
we would give anything to tell her one more time. I'm hoping that the next
time I go visit her, that I will give her the letter and maybe, somehow, I
could know that she's alright.
I first met Linda when she joined Alpha Phi. As an older sister, I was
instantly attracted to her smile and charm. I knew from the start that I
wanted to be her big sister. I hung out with her in the library, took her
out to coffee, and did everything I could to get to know her better.
Unfortunately, I did not get to be her big, but I am thankful that my other
good friend, Sarah Hwang, did.
Afterwards, I began to get to know Linda even better than I thought I would.
She was so easy to talk to and get along with. She could always make you
smile and know that things were going to be alright. We spent a summer
together taking organic chemistry (the summer after her freshman year)
and shared many great memories, studying mostly.
I'm not sure if you know, but a group of us sisters became more than
sisters--we became the best of friends. We called ourselves PPSS, the
Ping Pong Secret Society, a silly name we made for ourselves. We each
named ourselves part of the ping pong game and Linda was dubbed Paddle
Pea (we often called her Sweet Pea because she was always so sweet,
and she used that lotion from Bath & Body Works). Angela Lee, Sarah
Hwang, Rushmi Ramakrishna, Jaime Dutton, Jen Heckman, Linda and I spent
endless hours together, from the library to the 'beach' to our apartments.
Linda always brought so much brightness and cheer to our group. Her and
her Care Bears would always grin from ear to ear. Her laughter, like
so many others have said, was addictive--so real, so pure.
In Alpha Phi, I passed down the position of Director of Finance to Linda.
And boy, did she do a great job, better than I ever could. She went above
and beyond her duties to make sure things got done. I always admired her
constant love and support for whatever causes she believed in. When she
got the position of President, I don't think I could've been more proud
and happy for her. She was superb.
By the time my senior year rolled around, Linda and I hadn't hung out as
much since we were both so busy with school and other commitments. I
remember being sad that she wasn't there for my graduation, but surely
enough, she came over soon after with a present and a hug. She was a big
fan of those Vera Bradley bags and I was so happy when she gave me one.
Although I knew that I would be moving to New York, we promised to keep
in touch and keep each other updated on our lives. I saw Linda again at
our friend Angela's wedding in October. Although we hadn't seen each other
in a few months, we picked up right where we had left off. Linda still
greeted me with her great huge hugs and we had a fun-filled night dancing
and singing. I only wish I had been there longer than just the weekend to
spend more time with her.
The last time I saw Linda was over New Year's. Again, she ran to the door
with a huge hug and her brilliant smile. We had so much fun that night,
like we were making up for all the time we hadn't been together, and promised
to hang out more. She was going to come back up to New York to visit, and
I would go back down to Baltimore some weekends. The day after, as we walked
around New York City seeing the sights, Linda told me of her trip to Vietnam,
of her realization that she wanted to help people on a much larger scale,
that she wanted to really make a difference. I was sold on her idea. She
seemed to have her life all laid out in front of her. And we knew more than
anyone else that she'd get it all done.
That memory seems like only days ago when I think of the vibrancies and
happiness that I saw in Linda. I keep trying to remember that trip and all
the fun times we shared because the reality of now is just too much to bear.
I wish there was something I could do to take this all back; to erase all
these new awful memories of what's taken place. But I can't. However, I do
want to let you know that if there is anything that I can do, if there is
anything that you or your family needs, please let me know. I'm sorry that
I did not speak at the service. I want everyone to know what an amazing
friend and a great successful brilliant person Linda is, especially you and
your parents. I guess I just wanted to tell you this way instead.
As the days roll by, I am still reminded every day of Linda and how fortunate
I am to have known her and been her friend. I came upon this little story from
a writer named Brian Andreas, and it pretty much describes how I'm feeling:
"It is still so new & all we see is the empty space, but that is not how
it is in the landscape of the heart. There, there is no empty space & she still
laughs & grapples with ideas & plans & nods wisely with each of us in turn. We
are proud to have known her. We are proud to have called her friend."
I hope this email sheds some more light on the great impact Linda had in
people's lives. I will never ever forget her and everything she has done.
Thank you and your cousin for the beautiful websites that you've made for
Linda. I hope to come down to Baltimore sometime in the spring and if
possible, come visit you and your family.
I have attached a picture of Linda and I on New Year's. It makes me
happy to remember what a great time we had, and I hope it makes you
smile too.
Please feel free to write back and talk about whatever is on your mind.
I hope to hear from you soon.
With all my sincerest condolences,
Ning
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